December 24, 2007

Tradition

In Gulfport, Mississippi our family Christmas tradition includes Bruce's famous gumbo. This time there was sausage, chicken, smoked pork, and shrimp.
We had quite a crowd over to the house for dinner - they were all former neighbors from Pascagoula and long-time friends. I had a lovely time getting to know them all.

What are some of your Christmas traditions?

or... maybe it's just me?

December 17, 2007

So which is it?

My good friend and co-worker, also named Brian, called me from the road to report this sign and he kindly sent me a picture.

While I'm pleased about the Toys for Tots drop off site - what with it being Christmas time and all, I'm confused.

I'm confused about the juxtaposition of the China Buffet with the promise, dare I say "command", to build your own taco. So which is it? Is it a China Buffet or a build your own taco joint? Is it Szechuan or Chez Juan?

... maybe it's just me?

December 6, 2007

Ham: it's not just for Christmas anymore

I feel a little badly about ripping off another blog so, thanks to Seth Godin for his post.

Ham for Channukah?


Have they come up with some kind of kosher ham?

... maybe it's just me?

November 30, 2007

cheese

Cheese in a pump dispenser.
mmmmm.....
mmmmmmmmmmm....
MMMMMMMMM........ gnaaarrrrrlll.....


maybe it's just me?

November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Day

It's Thanksgiving Day and since this is my food blog I thought I shouldn't let this pass without commenting on a day set aside to give thanks to God and to eat pretty much anything that comes within reach.
First of all, I'm deeply thankful for my family. This year in particular I've felt their arms around me.
I'm thankful for my old friends like Jeff, Steve, Amy, Brenda, Brian, Jessica, Melissa, Steve, Brian, Brian, Morgan, Adam, Lisa, Jeff, Alan, Neal, Paul, Andy, Natalie, the Jonathans, and a recent re-acquaintance with Aedan (Ed).
I'm thankful for my newer friends like D'Arcy, Brooke and Julia, Amy, Megan, Dave, and of course Sylvia and Ezekiel.

Thanks to each and every one of you.

This sounds like a perfect opportunity for a Ham soda.

Maybe it's just me?

November 21, 2007

Eating in early childhood

Thanks to Dawn over at "Because I Said So" for making me watch this, the most frightening children's video ever.



It's only recently come to my attention that some little kids (and some older ones) need encouragement to eat. Oh I wish I had that problem.

... maybe it's just me?

November 16, 2007

based on a dare

It has been said that much of our cuisine is based on a dare. This was no exception.

The Copenhagen
Thick dark rye bread layered with lean roast beef, smoked turkey, a salmon fillet, a fried egg, onion rings and of course - tartar sauce. What else would you use to top that?



By far, this is the goofiest sandwich I've ever eaten. Thanks to Murray's in Minneapolis for this one.

It was really good! The fresh-made potato chips on the side were really really good!

... maybe it's just me

November 3, 2007

Mmmm... (cough!) Burger...

Muskegon has provided us with yet another culinary... moment. Let's just say, moment shall we?

The Bee Bopp in 50's diner

Don't get me started on the name. This little diner has been an ice cream store for a while and this fall they've opened it up as a 50's style diner. So what does 50's style mean?

Art Deco? - nope
Blue plate specials? - nope
Waitresses on roller skates? - nope
Milk shakes served in the stainless steel mixing tins? - nope

Unfortunately this 50's diner means smoking. I don't mean, "wow, it was so good that it was 'smoking'!" oh no. I'm talking about cigarette smoke and lots of it. They seem to have an all-you-can-breathe special going on. It might be that they are next door in the same building to a tobacconist but it really seems like it's too strong to come from next door. I expected to step into the back and find the cook, dishwasher and waitress all puffing away. The other customers clearly knew what they were getting into and came prepared with their own brands to add to the ambience.

The burger pictured above was very good. Double meat, double bacon, double cheese. I've scheduled the colonoscopy and and angioplasty.

Get one to go.

... maybe it's just me?

October 27, 2007

Ginormous Carrot Cake

A meeting between my boss and the other managers in my office and me brought us to the Brownstone restaurant in the Muskegon Airport. The Brownstone specializes in some original soups and sandwiches and I got to enjoy both on that day.

The dessert however was other-worldly.
This piece of cake was ridiculous. Please don't misunderstand. It was really really good. But who can eat lunch and then chase that down with an 8" tall, 10" wide, 2" thick piece of carrot cake?

I ate one layer, and then brought the rest away for Sylvia and Ezekiel. Zeke had none of it. Sylvia smiled a lot. She does that.

... maybe it's just me?

October 24, 2007

PB&P

Yes gentle reader, I made a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. It's one of my favorite peanut butter and something sandwiches, ever since I was a little kid. Made with the hamburger-dill slices and creamy peanut butter, it's light, crunchy, tart, and a bit nutty.
Some of you will probably think that I should include this delicacy in my food rules as an abomination.
Some of you will probably think that this should qualify as something I've found in my food.
However - I put the pickles on the peanut butter myself, and they are my rules, so I get to decide what's in them.

...maybe it's just me

October 5, 2007

El Gigante

When you're at a conference like this - where they don't feed you as part of the deal, you need to go out. David and I ran into Tiffany from iStock Photo and we all agreed to go out for Italian. We located a place with our GPS that wasn't too far away and we navigated our way directly to where it was supposed to be.

Instead we found Frontera Mex-Mex.
That's right, "Mex-Mex". Apparently these people hate Texas. We weren't sure about it until, as we drove around the front, we saw the Mariachi band through the window. DONE! We are so eating there!

A softball team arrived not too long before we did, so that was another good sign. But the best sign for me was the one in the menu that read, "FREE T-SHIRT" "Burrito El Gigante." Eat this 16-incher and win a t-shirt and if you're still hungry, free dessert. Mamma... I'm home.

Of course I finished it - ate the free fried ice cream and smiled mockingly at the wait-staff.

And now I have this great t-shirt - and the sounds of a Mariachi band playing the Macarena stuck in my head.

... maybe I didn't win after all.

October 2, 2007

The Varsity

This week I'm in Atlanta with my co-worker Dave for the Catalyst Conference. Our plane from Grand Rapids to Milwaukee was canceled due to weather, so we got a direct flight to Atlanta on another Airline. Midwest handled the cancellation with ease and we were soon on a Delta flight without any effort except for the extra security pat-downs.

We landed and got our luggage at the speed of light - seriously, I don't know how they did that. It was amazing. Then checked into the hotel - which is hilarious in its own right. Then off to get something for dinner.

The Varsity
It claims to be the world's largest drive-in. The one we went to was not really a drive-in as much as it was a drive-up-get-out-of-your-car-walk-inside. But I digress. They have Chili Dogs.

The chili is almost entirely meat, with a touch of sauce. The meat is so finely ground that it resembles Cream of Wheat or since we're in the South, grits. The chocolate shake was similar in consistency to a Wendy's Frosty, but after a few minutes with a spoon, drinkable. Chili-cheese fries are fries, served with a little cup of chili and a little cup of very runny cheese. I know what you're thinking - "oh! I like it runny" - if indeed that's what you're thinking, then by all means, this is the cheese for you.

+1 all around!

I really didn't eat much today - so now that I've pigged out and capped it all off with a fried peach pie - I'm going to bed.

... maybe it's just me.

September 13, 2007

Food Rules!

Over the past couple of years, I've mentioned that I have some food rules. I've also promised to post them at some point. I've never tried to write out the food rules before, so this is as much an exercise for me as it is keeping a promise.

These are my rules. If you don't like them, make your own list. I look forward to reading them.

1) Don't cook my citrus
This is primarily in the area of baked goods: Lemon bars, cake, orange glaze.
Exception - pineapple on pizza

2) Don't flavor things banana
Banana candy is especially nasty

3) No more Hormel
I got food poisoning from a can of chili once.
Exception - spam. I happen to like spam and I'm not giving it up just because Hormel bought it.

4) Hot dogs are an art-form
Ball Park brand franks are disgusting. I don't care if they do plump when you cook 'em. I prefer a good natural-casing dog, Oscar Meyer wiener, Ekrich franks or just about anything besides Ball Park. The best dogs are served in a ball park, unless they are actually Ball Park brand. Also, see rule #3.

5) Chocolate milk is important
Hershey's syrup in milk is OK. I like Ovaltine and Bosco, but prefer Quick above all other mix-in varieties. Even the No-Sugar-Added Quick is better than most others. Store brands are right out. The absolute best is the pre-mixed stuff. Feel free to mix that 1/1 with plain milk.

6) Skim milk is wrong
I'll take 1/2% before skim. 2% is best. Whole milk from the farm without homogenization and without pasteurization is a delicacy. Scoop the cream off and drink up.

7) Custard not cream
Donuts are often filled with something other than jelly. There's custard - which is fantastic. There's some kind of cream filling which is nasty. Carefully choose your donut.

8) Vegetables
The veggies on a sandwich count. I like salad. I'll eat most any vegetable when it's hidden in something else but it has to be small enough and unrecognizable. Corn is good - leading me to rule #9.

9) The Corn stands alone
Corn in things frightens me. I don't want to see it in poo or in food.

10) I have a list of restaurants
I've boycotted the following chain restaurants due to certain problems.
Bob Evans - Food Poisoning 2x
Brann's - the infamous bread-tie incident
Applebee's - most of a lady bug in my salad

this one is definitely just me.

August 24, 2007

unfortune cookies

Yesterday's excursion with Paul and Dave to the Wok-N-Roll also provided some fortune cookies. However, the content provided was not so much about our fortunes. I expected a glimpse into our respective futures.

Here's what we got:
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
Let's be honest, that's not a fortune. It's really more of a wise saying or proverb. I'm not even sure how true it is.
Let someone know how special they are to you.
That was more like some general good advice, kind of the hot and sour soup for the soul kind of fortune cookie.

Finally:
It is most enjoyable to talk with you.
That's just creepy. Besides the anthropomorphizing of the fortune cookie, why would anyone even write that?

The very first version of what would eventually become brian-food was a fortune cookie page that I maintained starting in 1997. The following appeared on that page in June, 2000.
These fortunes were collected by various Calvin College Information Technology employees, at different times, in no particular order, for no particular reason.

You will be advanced socially, without any special effort.
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
You and your wife will be happy in your life together.
You have the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
A thrilling time is in your immediate future.
You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it.
You have an important new business development shaping up.
Be positive in word, act, and deed.
What goes around comes around.
You will make a change for the better.
Success will come to you soon.
Be careful of what you wish for. You may get it.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Your principles mean more to you than money or success.
The game ain't over 'til it's over.
Your future looks bright.
Your luck has been completely changed today.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
You are the mast of every situation.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
Don't let unexpected situations "throw" you.
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
Find release from your cares, have a good time.
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes.
Friends long absent are coming back to you.
Your present plans are going to succeed.
You will step on the soil of many countries.
You are independent politically.
You will witness a special ceremony.
Contentment is yours when you find it does not come from things.
Your business will assume vast proportions.
You are next in line for a promotion.
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
Good time to start something new.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commmits it.
If you wish to, you will have an opportunity.
Progress is risky. You can't steal second and keep your foot on first.
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
Good habits are sustainable.
A letter of great importance will reach you soon.
You will soon be invited to a party.
Character is a victory, not a gift.
Worry is today's mouse eating tomorrow's cheese.
You will be awarded a great honor.
Be alert! You're about to make a new lifelong friend.
A small incident will develop to your advantage.
You need not worry about the future.
Remember to share good fortune as wll as bad with your friends.
You will receive a fortune cookie.
You will be the best.
You have an unusual magnetic personality. Just be aware of your
That last one really trailed off there didn't it?
Special thanks to the Wayback Machine for keeping a copy of that page for me all these years so I could retrieve it. (and that's also why you don't post goofy pictures of yourself on your myspace account kids!) Feel free to add your favorite euphemism to the end of those if you like. (in bed)

My favorite after all this time is still:
Behind an able man there are always.
...maybe it's just me?

August 23, 2007

Oh Baby

Sometimes the sign outside a restaurant tells you what's served inside. Sometimes it doesn't.
I know that inside KFC they are not serving withered old southern gentlemen, and I pray that inside this place they are not serving the other-other white meat. Why is there a picture of a baby on this sign.

Wok-N-Roll the Buffet-N-Grill
Chinese & American Food

Notice that it's not Chinese-N-American food. Dave and Paul were getting impatient with me while I took the picture.

It's your basic Chinese buffet, with a smattering of raw items for the grill at the end of the line. Nothing about the food is remarkable, but that sign... oh baby.

... maybe it's just me?

PS - this was next door.

Tulips and Buffalo

Last night I dined at a lovely little Itallian place called Bela Mia.
This ad appeared on the placemat.

Sorry the picture is so fuzzy, but it says:
Veldheer's Tulips & Buffalo

Ahhhhh... tulips and buffalo.
Two great tastes...

...maybe it's just me.

August 6, 2007

What's the point?

What's the point of this?

A Microwaveable Milk Shake.

There are several things wrong with this product.
1) it's the Original - as if they had to worry about some cheap knock-off version of the Microwaveable Milk Shake

2) the instructions - "Just place in Microwave for 40 seconds and stir." I'm assuming that you need to turn the Microwave on at some point during those 40 seconds, but maybe I'm getting too picky.

3) Seriously - you put the frozen ice cream in the Microwave for 40 seconds (on High), stir and drink it. Isn't that just ice cream?

Maybe it's just me?

August 2, 2007

Skyline time!

If you've never been to Cincinnati, or any of the other places where they have Skyline Chili, you need to make the time to go.

What's this cadre of cheese covered dishes, and who's that guy?

This is my brother Chris enjoying his first 5-way, while my 3-way and pair of cheese coneys appear in the foreground. Now before you get all bent out of shape trying to figure out what a 3-way or a 5-way is, I'll explain.

3-Way: steaming spaghetti, covered with chili and a mound of shredded cheddar cheese.

4-Way: A 3-Way with diced onions OR red beans.

5-Way: A 3-Way with diced onions AND red beans.

Cheese Coney: a hot dog with mustard, covered with chili, diced onions and a mound of shredded cheddar cheese.

Chris and I met up in Cincinnati, a good halfway point for both of us. Our first stop had to be Skyline. Even though there was a White Castle right there in the parking lot of the hotel.

One odd thing about Skyline is that there was one in Muskegon, just up the street from my office. My coworkers and I visited often (understatement) when suddenly, it was gone. The building was still there, but a sign on the drive-thru window read that they had closed due to circumstances beyond their control. They reopened shortly thereafter as a Gyro place. Oh Muskegon, why must you devour, swallow, and spit out the best restaurants? Why must you torture me??

But I digress.

Visit Skyline's website - just don't click on the "Nutrition" link. You don't really want to know.... or maybe that's just me?

July 18, 2007

Birthday cake and a dog

If it's your birthday, you gotta have cake right? So I've been told. But what if you don't really like cake that much? What if you like blueberry pie?

Celebrating my birthday in Chicago got me the following:
a) my favorite pizza - Giordano's
b) favorite band - The Police
c) in my favorite ballpark - Wrigley field
d) my favorite dog - Portillo's

Portillo's (pronounced Por-tee-ohs or Por-till-ohs depending on your preference) has a great dog. I think it's missing celery salt, but other than that it's fantastic. The hot dog has just the righ seasonings to handle the ridiculous amount of toppings required for a true Chicago Dog:
Mustard, Relish, onions, tomato slices, a pickle.

Portillo's also has an invention that somehow I'd missed in the past, but my friend Jessica introduced me to.

The Chocolate Cake Shake

Yes... it's a piece of chocolate cake, frosting and everything blended into a chocolate shake. A whole piece of cake - in a shake. Cake - shake - got it?

Brilliant!

I'd still prefer the Blueberry Pie Shake.

...maybe it's just me?

July 14, 2007

7 pounds of perfect

It's been a fabulous couple of weeks since I last posted, so here's what's going on.

1) I turned 40
2) my birth mother adopted me
3) I got to eat Giordano's Pizza in my home town

If you've been some place that advertises "Chicago Style Pizza" and it's not Giordano's, they are wrong. Plain old dead wrong.

OK, OK - I'm wrong.
There are a plethora of Chicago Pizza places in and out of Chicago. Most of them simply serve a deep dish pizza which for my money isn't as interesting as a really good, very thin pizza.

Giordano's serves stuffed pizza. STUFFED I tell you!
There's a perfect medium crust at the bottom. It's not too thick and not too thin. I'll put it this way, you don't feel like you've eaten an entire loaf of bread after just one slice of pizza, and you don't feel like you had a cracker or a tortilla or something.

Then there are the toppings, or in this case - stuffings. On this my 40th birthday, I chose sausage all by itself. (an obvious metaphor to be sure) The sausage is perfect. It's not some little crumbles nor is it a great ungainly patty like some other joints (Lou Malnati's, Gino's East). It's a perfect nugget of perfectly seasoned pork goodness.

Another paper-thin crust seals in the 7 pounds of cheese (medium pizza) with the other stuffings and is then topped off with a generous ladle of perfect sauce. The sauce is neither too sweet, salty, or spicy - it's just perfect.

That sucker is baked for about 30 minutes and then placed with love on your table. I always eat too much of it and make myself sick, but what a way to go.

My point is that this is Stuffed pizza - the way it should be. You can have all the Chicago pizza you want and it's just not Giordano's stuffed pizza.

...maybe it's just me?

June 19, 2007

I didn't eat it

Thanks to Jonathan, he took one for the team.

I mean, we've all eaten Ramen at one time or another haven't we? Sometimes they are very tasty and you get at least 100% of the USRDA of Sodium in one little package. Chicken, beef, and even vegetable flavors can bring a smile to the palete but this one is just wrong.


1) Shrimp
I'm absolutely certain that the shrimp are the same shrimp from the unsold Sea Monkeys of years gone by.


2) Lime
Are you kidding me?
Jonathan said that the flavor was "very limey" and by that he meant rather heavy on the lime.


3) Limon Flavor
Sprite Copyright infringement aside, I have to ask - which is it? Lime or Limon?

I don't want to try this.
...maybe it's just me.

June 12, 2007

Coke - the real thing

Coke - the real thing
I love Coca-Cola
It's not too sweet, it's crisp, bubbly, and I find it refreshing at just the right times.
Coke - the real thing
I've blogged about Coke before:
All Coked Up
Coke Blech
My Hero Zero

Best coke version ever is the 1984 Coca-Cola before New Coke, and before the return of Coke Classic - and it should be served chilled in a glass bottle. Growing up, this is the way it came. Sure there were cans, for the times when you had a school field trip and had to wrap it up in tin-foil. But for the most part Coke came in glass 16 oz or 12 oz bottles. Some vending machines had 10oz bottles.

The big difference between the Coke of today and the Coke of yesteryear may seem obvious to the unindoctrinated - the glass bottle? Well that's where you'd be wrong. You can get a 6-pack of tiny 8oz bottle at the supermarket for about $5. It's better than a can or plastic bottle, but it's still not quite right. The difference is sugar.

Sugar
Genuine, real, refined sugar.
Cane sugar
Beet sugar
sweet, lovely, crystalline sugar

Bad for you right? Maybe - but that's what's missing from the sweet carbonated drinks of today. Since the mid 1980's soda companies have replaced sugar with high-fructose corn syrup. That may have been good for the farming economy, but it was still wrong.
The Coke in this picture, the one in the 12oz glass bottle, the one with a trace of condensation dripping down the side, the one that says Coca-Cola and not "Coke Classic", the one that tastes the way Coke is supposed to, has sugar and is from Mexico.

It seems that the Mexican economy is unaffected by high-fructose corn syrup. We get their workers, they get the good Coca-Cola.

I've found a local source. I'm not telling you where I got it, but I bought a bunch of them and have no more than one each day.
If I told you where they were... maybe it wouldn't be just me.

June 6, 2007

Best Ad Ever

Thanks to my friend Rachel, I can now enjoy my favorite television ad of all time anytime.
click to view Tabasco Ad


It ran during the Super Bowl in 1998 and I remember every moment of it from that one viewing.

I love Tabasco sauce as much as the next guy, though not as much as this guy, and I desperately want to try this.

...maybe it's just me

June 2, 2007

a bone to pick

I find things in my food. This is an established fact.
stuff
things

This time it was the 44th Street Bistro, just up the street from my apartment. It was a chicken bone.

I would have expected it in the chicken wing from the buffet. Although this was a rib-bone, so it would have been a bit of a surprise, but not a shock.

I could have surmised that the chicken-n-dumpling soup would not necessarily be free of chick-n-bones.

It was in the macaroni, which shockingly enough tasted like fish. Kind of a crap-bisque if you will.

Never off my guard, I deftly removed it, Set it aside, photographed it for later, and went on with my meal.

Should I have complained? By now, I think not.

... maybe it's just me. - it probably is.

May 28, 2007

Two Scoops

Unofficial start of Summer or not, to me the season begins with two scoops of heavenly goodness atop a sugar cone.

I usually prefer soft-serve ice cream. My needs are simple and a plain chocolate cone or maybe a twist, or a basic dip satisfy me. Sometimes, you have to go for the hand-dipped cone. I love to combine a scoop of this and that producing a delightful melange heretofore untasted. On this Memorial day weekend I kicked off Summer with Coffee Lovers and Ooey Gooey Chewy. The latter is vanilla with brownie pieces and caramel. I found it a bit disappointing. Next time, I'm getting the Coffee with Birthday Cake. I should have had a small taste first.

When it comes to the cone, there are all manner of handles for your ice cream. Take the cake - or "Eat-it-all" brand cone - it's light, fluffy, and provides a solid base. The waffle cone always seems to dwarf whatever you put in there, and the results are somewhat unpredictable. My tried and true friend is the sugar cone. It's crisp, sweet and toasted. At the end you get a little pointy bit. I love that part.

... maybe it's just me?

April 23, 2007

Flavor of the Day

I don't know where to go with this picture, but I had to share it.

I went to Culver's, home of the butterburger and frozen custard. This sign was next to the counter and both confused and amused me for the rest of the evening.

Flavor of the Day:
Michigan Cherry Pecan
That sounds pretty good.

Is the next item a Michigan cherry pecan pineapple shake?

And what does that do for the green olives?

At the end of the day, I felt it necessary to share the fact that at some point, in some place, there was a sign that asked the perennial question, "How about some green olives?"

...maybe it's just me.

April 1, 2007

Popcorn Movies

I go to the movies a lot. I like to go with a friend or two when I can find them. Sometimes I go by myself. Sometimes I go just for the popcorn.

My favorite local theaters in the area sell a plastic bucket that you bring to the theater anytime and fill it up with popcorn. I've done that a few times. It's good for about 6 months, and I get my money's worth. The same theaters' concessions include a butter-flavoring pump so you can apply your own "butter," salt, and other flavors - like white cheddar, or cinnamon.

Today, was the last day for my most recent bucket - so I'll need to buy another one soon. Today I also saw several occurrences of a phenomena that makes my blood pressure rise like the foil on a pan of Jiffy Pop.

Parents - a note for those of you who take your kids to movies rated above their age. (if you don't do this, feel free to share my rage) I'm staggered, outraged an appalled. Do you honestly think that when people, especially young people, are exposed to the unsavory elements of our culture that they are unaffected? Seriously? I'm amazed at how many parents bring children (age 4-12) and young teens (13-16) (group the whole age range into "kids") into R rated movies. What are you thinking?

Now, I'm not a parent, so of course I get to make these comments without the consequences of following my own advice. So - feel free to take my thoughts with a dash of popcorn salt.

The MPAA provides ratings to help moviegoers understand what's in the movie before they go. There are also a ton of resources out there to help you pick appropriate movies. Once someone is over 18 or over 21 - they need to be cultural discerners and make their own decisions. However, if you don't teach them how to make decisions, they won't learn, and we'll all be one gladiator fight away from showing actual death in our media.

Some of my recommended movie review sites:
1) Rotten Tomatoes - if it's less than 60% fresh, I think twice, or thrice before I spend money on it - not for everyone.
2) Past The Popcorn - the films, the people who make the films.
3) Hollywood Jesus - get the spiritual perspective.
4) Preview - for family-friendly ratings.

Please, please, please don't bring kids to see R-rated movies. Please don't bring children to see PG-13 movies. Don't show the movies to them at your home. Think about the potential long term effects of what your children experience. I know our culture is all about instant gratification. I know this isn't popular. I know it's going to be hard to do this. Your kids will be better people for it in the long run.

... maybe it's just me.

March 11, 2007

Fluffernutter

It's been a long time since I've indulged in the sweet goodness of a Fluffernutter. If you've never had one, the recipe is simple. Clearly!

Ingredients:
2 pieces of sturdy bread (if peanut butter snags your bread, fluff will destroy it)
Peanut Butter (your favorite kind - I prefer Peter Pan, but it's not available in the stores right now)
Fluff (there are plenty of knock-offs out there and they are mostly all good)

Directions:
Spread the peanut butter on one piece of bread.
Spread the fluff on the other.
Mush them together.

Enjoy with a glass of cold milk.

The strange thing is that as you work with the fluff in the jar, you appear to go through it pretty quickly, making you think that the Fluff is nearly gone when you're done. Come back to the jar later, and the fluff has magically returned to nearly the same level where it was before.

Now some people would blame that on the way marshmallow is filled with air, and the mucilaginous nature of it. I say "magic".

Maybe it's just me...

February 26, 2007

Brann-tastic

No, this is not a post about fiber, unless you consider hard plastic as a source of fiber.

I just had dinner with my friend MarkA at Brann's steakhouse. Brann's is a local chain who claims to have invented the "sizzler steak" - which is just a cheap cut of sirloin in a large, thick wedge. The food is usually pretty good.

MarkA and I each ordered the 16oz Sizzler - on special. It came with a choice of potato, their fabulous yeast rolls with cinnamon butter, and the obligatory side-salad. The side-salad is usally the leftover refuse from a head of iceberg lettuce, a couple slices of cucumber (bluch!) and some waxy hothouse tomatoes. Red onions are optional, but the croutons are usually pretty good, and you get your choice of dressing. I chose honey-mustard.

Tonight the salad came with an extra crunchy crouton, burried in the bottom of the salad, but it came up in a bite with the rest of the nutrition-less cellulose. If you look at the picture above closely, you can see my teeth-marks.

I told the waitress and she was properly mortified. The free dessert (brownie-bites sundae) did not make up for the injury when I bit into this bag-tie. So, thanks Brann's - you get free advertising on my blog and flickr pictures.

You also get the finger.

... maybe it's just me.

Actually it's me, over and over again.

February 25, 2007

What'll ya have Pal?

There are restaurants, joints, canteens, eateries, chuck-wagons, bistros, snack-bars, cafes, deli's and there are diners.
Ideally, a diner should be built in an old dining car from the railroad. There should be a considerable amount of stainless steel. There should be flavored cokes, french fries, and hand-dipped milk shakes. Burgers should be simple, served with chips and a pickle, or fries and slaw. Ketchup and mustard should be on the table at all times. They should have meatloaf. There should be a lunch counter. There should be pie.
In Grand Rapids, there is a place where all these things come together in one place - Pal's Diner.

If you go there, have a flavored coke - Cherry, Strawberry, Vanilla - I can't recommend the Chocolate. If you're in the mood for a dessert - get a shake. Any of the sundae flavors work.

Their signature item is cute rather than tasty. It's the "car full of fries". A paper-board car lined with waxed paper, full of fries. The fries are good and just the right size for dipping.

I haven't been there as often as I used to, when I knew the wait-staff by name. I stopped in for lunch the other day with Andy and Paul, and I couldn't help but tell this story.

Once when I used to go to pals a lot, my favorite waitress came to me at the end of a long line of my friends at the lunch counter. She had taken all of their orders already, and when she came to me she said, "the usual?"
I didn't know what "the usual" was going to be, but I knew one thing. If a waitress asks you if you'll have "the usual," you say "yes!" I don't care if she brings you a manhole cover loaded with sausage gravy and pinapple wedges, you say "yes!"
To this day, I still don't remember what she brought me, but it left an indellible impression.

... maybe it's just me?


P.S. - click the picture above for a bonus story.

February 20, 2007

Phat Tuesday

Happy Paczki day everyone!

This day, set aside once per year, to celebrate gastronomic indulgence is a major holiday here at Brian-Food. It's a day dedicated to eating not only too much, but of the wrong thing. It's not good for you. I know it. You know it. The ingestion of a single half-kilo donut is never a good idea, let alone turning the day into a contest to see how many one can actually ingest.

Today I returned (unusually) to the scene of a previous blog entry in order to obtain the goods for this one.

The hefty donuts come in a variety of flavors - depending on the source. The following were available at this time.
Blueberry
Raspberry
Strawberry
Lemon
Custard
Prune
I'm told by my devout Polish friends that the sweetened prune filling is not only the most traditional, but the best tasting. I tried them once... ONCE - never again. I'm also not eating one of the lemon Paczki, as it violates food rule #1. I'll have to explain the food rules in a future post.

For today, please think about what you might-should-not eat.

... maybe it's just me?

PS - are you sacrificing anything for the season of lent - the few weeks approaching the recognized anniversary of Christ's resurrection? Why/why not?


P.P.S - the picture above has been picked up by a happy little news service.

February 16, 2007

Out of the Peter Pan and into the fire


Peter Pan Peanut Butter
Now with more real salmonella flavor!

Bad news - the batch number on the lid starts with 2111.
Good news - I get a $2.54 refund from Con Agra Foods
Bad news - I've eaten about half of it.

... I happen to know it's not just me.

February 10, 2007

Night-time at the grocery

There's a moment on a Friday night when you realize that you might want to eat something the next day, so you make a quick run to the closest grocery store.

After purchasing some soda (12-packs for $1.97), milk, eggs, fruit, vegetables, and yogurt, it's time to brave the parking lot once again. Now, a week after the Blizzard of 2007 the roads are starting to clear, but the parking lots are still slush-laden. Pushing even a small cart through the dry-slurpee-gunk is a chore. You end up dragging more than pushing. Parked next to me was this fancy car.


It takes insulation to a whole new level. But at the same time I found myself very thankful for my apartment, and that I'm not living in my car like this poor soul probably is.
Or, maybe they just don't have trash removal at their place?

...maybe it's just me.

February 3, 2007

Complimentary Cereal Bowl

One of the things I do to keep myself entertained from time to time is shopping at TJ-Maxx. It's like an indoor garage sale with all new stuff. This week I picked up this little beauty in the clearance section and actually got the Romanian lady at the checkout to take an extra dollar off the price before I took it with me.

When you think "complimentary" cereal bowl, you're probably thinking, "free" right? That's what I thought too, but that wasn't the half of it. Not only is this bad-boy finally a cereal bowl that holds a reasonable serving of cereal - seriously 3/4 of a cup of Count Chocula? Try 3-4 cups - but it feeds your ego.

Feel better about yourself first thing in the morning, or even late at night, whenever your appetite strikes.

maybe it's just me...

January 26, 2007

International Cuisine


European-American
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile.
Over Christmas I dropped my laptop. It seemed un-damaged until I rebooted. Then it was not usable. I did my best to fix it, but brought it to a shop for repairs. 4 days, $500 and a new hard drive later, I'm transferring data back to the laptop and getting back to work.

At this point you're probably thinking, "come on Brian, get to the food." Bear with me gentle reader - I'm coming to that.

Three weeks into the continuing data restore from backup I awoke, showered and approached my laptop, ready for a day at the home-office. (if you have never tried telecommuting, I recommend it highly!) Only an error message "you must restart your computer" greeted me from the screen. It asked me to hold the power button down to restart, so I did. It shut down. I pressed the power button again to restart it, but nothing happened. Nothing at all.

I tried again (startup sound) and relief flowed over me for a moment. That is until I realized that the screen was dark. (lots of troubleshooting later) I reset the pram a good step in Macintosh troubleshooting - but this had no effect. I found myself back in the repair shop.

I'm still coming to the food - don't you worry your pretty little head about that.

I asked them to pull the hard drive out and back the data up for me onto an external drive I brought with me. While they did that, Kris, the tech suggested I get some coffee or something and he'd call me in a bit. So I sallied forth to the closest place I could find, the "American Bakery".

The legend on the sign clearly reads:

AMERICAN BAKERY
Specializing in European Style Breads, Donuts & Cookies


My first question is why not specialize in "American" baked goods - or even go with the name "European Bakery" if the continental pastries are your forte?

However, not dissuaded, I went in anyway.
The room was dimly lit. Three men dressed in goodwill sheik huddled around a coffee counter and peered bleakly at a television showing the Today show. Their gaze shifted briefly my way as I walked past them to the bakery counter. If ever the downtrodden of society chose a bakery instead of a bar, this would be it. They also sell a small quantity of cigars, the small variety with the plastic filter on the end, and roll-your-own tobacco. The cakes hiding under yellowish fluorescent lights were another story.

Apple fritters as big as the hubcap on a 1973 Olds-cutlass lurked there, as did a few cinnamon rolls that looked more like cleaved bowling balls. Behind the counter were the donuts. Coffee, brewed earlier this year, stewed over at the double-u-shaped counter where my earlier acquaintances, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis sat. A lithe girl of about 14 years and Indian heritage, bundled in winter coats, came from behind the counter to help me. A sweet smile and bright eyes were just an invitation to the sugary goodies on the wall.

I ordered a double-chocolate and a blueberry-filled.

Donutty Goodness
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile.


The jelly was more like blueberry pie filling and I'd estimate it at around 3/4 of a cup. That's just silly - even in donut-land. The coffee was exactly what I expected; hot, thick, served in Styrofoam, and not very good.

However, if you get a chance, stop in and have a bite.


One note on the musketeers from earlier. If they're still at the counter, you can look forward to a conversation like this.

"Man, when my mom was pregnant with me and she had pains, she just drank a beer. I think all that worry about drinking when a lady's pregnant is stupid. I turned out just fine."


Maybe it's just me...