unfortune cookies

Yesterday's excursion with Paul and Dave to the Wok-N-Roll also provided some fortune cookies. However, the content provided was not so much about our fortunes. I expected a glimpse into our respective futures.

Here's what we got:

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Let's be honest, that's not a fortune. It's really more of a wise saying or proverb. I'm not even sure how true it is.

Let someone know how special they are to you.

That was more like some general good advice, kind of the hot and sour soup for the soul kind of fortune cookie.

Finally:

It is most enjoyable to talk with you.

That's just creepy. Besides the anthropomorphizing of the fortune cookie, why would anyone even write that?

The very first version of what would eventually become brian-food was a fortune cookie page that I maintained starting in 1997. The following appeared on that page in June, 2000.

These fortunes were collected by various Calvin College Information Technology employees, at different times, in no particular order, for no particular reason.

You will be advanced socially, without any special effort.
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
You and your wife will be happy in your life together.
You have the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
A thrilling time is in your immediate future.
You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it.
You have an important new business development shaping up.
Be positive in word, act, and deed.
What goes around comes around.
You will make a change for the better.
Success will come to you soon.
Be careful of what you wish for. You may get it.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Your principles mean more to you than money or success.
The game ain't over 'til it's over.
Your future looks bright.
Your luck has been completely changed today.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
You are the mast of every situation.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
Don't let unexpected situations "throw" you.
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
Find release from your cares, have a good time.
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes.
Friends long absent are coming back to you.
Your present plans are going to succeed.
You will step on the soil of many countries.
You are independent politically.
You will witness a special ceremony.
Contentment is yours when you find it does not come from things.
Your business will assume vast proportions.
You are next in line for a promotion.
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
Good time to start something new.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commmits it.
If you wish to, you will have an opportunity.
Progress is risky. You can't steal second and keep your foot on first.
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
Good habits are sustainable.
A letter of great importance will reach you soon.
You will soon be invited to a party.
Character is a victory, not a gift.
Worry is today's mouse eating tomorrow's cheese.
You will be awarded a great honor.
Be alert! You're about to make a new lifelong friend.
A small incident will develop to your advantage.
You need not worry about the future.
Remember to share good fortune as wll as bad with your friends.
You will receive a fortune cookie.
You will be the best.
You have an unusual magnetic personality. Just be aware of your

That last one really trailed off there didn't it?
Special thanks to the Wayback Machine for keeping a copy of that page for me all these years so I could retrieve it. (and that's also why you don't post goofy pictures of yourself on your myspace account kids!) Feel free to add your favorite euphemism to the end of those if you like. (in bed)

My favorite after all this time is still:
Behind an able man there are always.
...maybe it's just me?

Oh Baby

Sometimes the sign outside a restaurant tells you what's served inside. Sometimes it doesn't.
I know that inside KFC they are not serving withered old southern gentlemen, and I pray that inside this place they are not serving the other-other white meat. Why is there a picture of a baby on this sign.

Wok and Roll

Wok-N-Roll the Buffet-N-Grill
Chinese & American Food

Notice that it's not Chinese-N-American food. Dave and Paul were getting impatient with me while I took the picture.

It's your basic Chinese buffet, with a smattering of raw items for the grill at the end of the line. Nothing about the food is remarkable, but that sign... oh baby.

... maybe it's just me?

PS - this was next door.

Tulips and Buffalo

Last night I dined at a lovely little Itallian place called Bela Mia.
This ad appeared on the placemat.

Tulips and Buffalo

Sorry the picture is so fuzzy, but it says:
Veldheer's Tulips & Buffalo

Ahhhhh... tulips and buffalo.
Two great tastes...

...maybe it's just me.

What's the point?

What's the point of this?

Microwaveable Milk Shake

A Microwaveable Milk Shake.

There are several things wrong with this product.
1) it's the Original - as if they had to worry about some cheap knock-off version of the Microwaveable Milk Shake

2) the instructions - "Just place in Microwave for 40 seconds and stir." I'm assuming that you need to turn the Microwave on at some point during those 40 seconds, but maybe I'm getting too picky.

3) Seriously - you put the frozen ice cream in the Microwave for 40 seconds (on High), stir and drink it. Isn't that just ice cream?

Maybe it's just me?

Skyline time!

If you've never been to Cincinnati, or any of the other places where they have Skyline Chili, you need to make the time to go.

Skyline time!

What's this cadre of cheese covered dishes, and who's that guy?

This is my brother Chris enjoying his first 5-way, while my 3-way and pair of cheese coneys appear in the foreground. Now before you get all bent out of shape trying to figure out what a 3-way or a 5-way is, I'll explain.

3-Way: steaming spaghetti, covered with chili and a mound of shredded cheddar cheese.

4-Way: A 3-Way with diced onions OR red beans.

5-Way: A 3-Way with diced onions AND red beans.

Cheese Coney: a hot dog with mustard, covered with chili, diced onions and a mound of shredded cheddar cheese.

Chris and I met up in Cincinnati, a good halfway point for both of us. Our first stop had to be Skyline. Even though there was a White Castle right there in the parking lot of the hotel.

One odd thing about Skyline is that there was one in Muskegon, just up the street from my office. My coworkers and I visited often (understatement) when suddenly, it was gone. The building was still there, but a sign on the drive-thru window read that they had closed due to circumstances beyond their control. They reopened shortly thereafter as a Gyro place. Oh Muskegon, why must you devour, swallow, and spit out the best restaurants? Why must you torture me??

But I digress.

Visit Skyline's website - just don't click on the "Nutrition" link. You don't really want to know.... or maybe that's just me?