Katrina Christmas

This year, I spent Christmas with my family. Two years ago I went to Gulfport for Thanksgiving and celebrated Christmas at the same time. That was also the first time I got to meet my brother Chris, and his wife Michelle. All of us were there this year, and we gathered around the Christmas tree to open presents, ate roast turkey and a deep-fried caijun turkey. You can check out my flickr pictures for more of that.

The caijun turkey was certainly a highlight, as well as some fresh gulf shrimp at a local joint earlier in the week. There! Now that I've mentioned food, I can go on to the truly important part of this post.

On Christmas eve, we toured the communities destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, and later attended a candlelight service at church in Gulfport, close to the beach, but was miraculously spared. It's been a while since I have been in a church as traditional as this with pews and stained glass, a very different experience from CentrePointe. The pastor was as casual as could be despite the long robe and sash of his office. He reminded me of the Menards guy with a deep drawl. He talked about angels. He of course mentioned the famous ones who appeared at the first Christmas, but he also talked about some other that had effected the people in this church directly.

The CEO of the Weaver popcorn company had contacted the pastor about making a donation to the church to help with hurricane relief in the local community, and that it would probably be about $4,000. During their correspondence, the pastor mentioned that someone had once donated an old popcorn machine to the church. He told the CEO that after people in the church had treated it like their own, cleaning it, and as the pastor said, "loving on it," it made some great popcorn. Well the CEO wrote back and after finding out more about the machine, sent along a gift of 75 lbs of popcorn and oil for the popper in easy to use envelopes. This was nice, since the church hadn't been able to make any popcorn lately and it would be much appreciated. Some time passed and the CEO wrote back with a bad-news/good-news story. The workers had taken up their Christmas charity collection and it had not come to the $4,000 the CEO mentioned. Instead it was going to be more like $10,000. The workers at the Weaver popcorn company had taken in this little church as their own. Rather than give to a faceless charity like the red cross, the CEO and the workers connected with the people who needed their help and they stepped up. The money arrived with personal cards and letters from the workers to the church. They are building a relationship with the people there, and taking them in as if they were their own family.

That's what God did for us. He took us in as if we were His own family and when the time came, he made a supreme sacrifice for us. It wasn't money or popcorn, but his own life. And we should take him in as our own as well. That little baby needed a family to take him in and take care of him. He needed someone to hold him and love him. So, God relied on us to take him in as our own. That means we get all the benefits of having the Christ child in our lives, and all the pain that goes with taking responsibility for that child. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes.

As it turns out the people in the Gulfport church took in a popcorn machine, and the Weaver popcorn company took in the people at the church. During the communion portion of the Christmas eve service, one of the deacons told the pastor that the family who donated the popcorn machine all those years ago had lost everything in the hurricane. The pastor let us know, and said, "I think we can take that family in as our very own, don't you?"

This visit with my birth-family was better than I had hoped. At Thanksgiving, I wrote about how I hoped for a better relationship "with Chris and David, my brothers, Chris' wife Michelle, and Bruce - my stepfather." It's grown so much since the last time we were all together. I felt more like a brother and a son than I ever have before. I still can't believe how they took me in.

...maybe it's just me?

Caramel... everything and a Hot Dog

Saturday night I went to an unofficial Christmas party with a few friends. Everyone brought something to share, I brought vegetables. (I know... what was I thinking? - seriously, I really try to bring healthy snacks whenever I can.)

The hosts provided some spicy Hawiian meatballs, candy, and other people brought taco dip and other salty-snacks. New to me was what I have since learned is called "Caramel Delight", but at the time I called "Caramel Everything". It was caramel popcorn with pretzels, chex cereal, and pecans. Oh sweet crunchy goodness! So much for my attempt at weight loss.

Meet Walter
In case you're not in the loop, I have been looking for a dog to adopt. Sorry Mom, you'll have to settle for being a grandmother to another pet.
I'm headed to Gulfport to visit my family for Christmas, and then picking up Walter on the way back from the Lansing airport. I'm pretty excited about the whole thing. I've purchased the requisite dog bowls, a couple of toys, a bed and the breeder is providing a kennel and a bunch of other doggy things. The only thing I have yet to purchase is food. I grew up with a couple of dogs raised on Purina Dog Chow. I never knew that dog food had come so far until the breeder mentioned that she's raised the puppy on a Raw Food diet. The web site is worth mentioning, www.barfworld.com, maybe even reading, but don't worry BARF is an acronym. This kind of BARF is not nearly as much fun as "Barf" (Barfolemew) from Spaceballs.

maybe it's just me...

feeling sneaky

Is it wrong to bring one's own food into a movie theater?
I've been going to movies most of my life and I've never seen a sign or anything. There really should be some big-ole "No outside food or drink" sign on the door if they want to enforce that. Often, when I go to the movies I bring my popcorn bucket and I smuggle drinks in. Sometimes I also have beef jerky or candy stuffed into my pockets. I've even gone as far as bringing in cheeseburgers. I've got a coat with big pockets to enable this surreptitious gastronomy. It makes me feel like Harpo Marx.

I've always believed it was somehow wrong to do this, but I did it anyway. On Wednesday, while enjoying the roller coaster ride that is King Kong (special effects suck early on, but get a lot better!), it occurred to me that there's no sign or anything. How do I know you can't bring in outside food? I decided that I'm going to keep doing it, but I'll look more carefully for the sign, and enjoy the espionage.

maybe it's just me...

Snow Day

The Grand Rapids area got anywhere between 4 and 10 inches of snow overnight and most every school is closed today. When you are an adult, you don't really get those snow days, and I think that's one of the biggest rip-offs about growing up. A snow day is like a surprise vacation day. The neighbor kids are sledding down the hill next to our driveway (I kinda wish they would stop by, say hello, and ask first...) and soon they'll head back inside for Hot Chocolate!

Hot Cocoa is possibly one of the greatest inventions for a warm beverage ever, and one of the few things that doesn't suffer from microwave preparation. What I mean by that is - you can warm up the milk in the microwave. Here's a way to make a nice batch of it - about 4-6 cups worth. There are some people who would add powdered milk to this, but they can get their own blogs and talk about the food they like. Here, they are just plain wrong. And it turns out that Hot Cocoa is really very good for you!

2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup cocoa (unsweetened)
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cornstarch (mmm... thicker...)
1 pinch cayenne pepper (adjust for your taste)

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl and incorporate evenly.
Whatever you don't use right away, seal in an airtight container, keeps indefinitely in the pantry.

The trick to making it is to add 3-4 tablespoons of the mix to a mug, add just a little cold milk (less that 1/4 cup) and mix that into kind of a syrup. Then add hot milk to fill your mug. That makes sure the cocoa mixes evenly and doesn't leave any lumps - it also stays mixed longer after the cocoa stands.

If you don't like chocolate or cocoa, but like the hot milk - try adding a few drops of vanilla or another flavoring to some powdered sugar or artificial sweetener, and mix with hot milk just like the above.

Something wacky for you!
Those goofy Canadians have come up with a new ad campaign for drinking milk. The intro is worth seeing the first time so you get the caveman premise, but after that, you can skip the intro to get to the short commercials. Brilliant! Thanks to my friend Rachel for that Wacky submission.

Meanwhile, if you do decide to make the cocoa on the stove top, and that skin forms on top of it... save some for me, I love that.

...maybe it's just me.

something in my food

I find stuff in my food all the time.

I used to think I was cursed in some way, but then I realized that I am the god of foreign-matter-in-food. Material that should not appear in a served meal follows me everywhere in order to laud, praise, worship, and generally find a way to become one with me by attempting to find its way into my mouth. Fortunately one of my god-powers is that I can detect things that don't belong in my mouth with the efficiency of an assembly line owned by a company that wants to move their operations to Mexico. The smallest hint of any accidental content sets off an alarm I can't ignore. I'm working on spotting things before I ingest them and I occasionally succeed. If you've been to more than a few meals with me, you've seen it happen. Others of you will have to wait for your opportunity.

If there is a cherry-pit in the cherry pie, it will show up in my piece. I once found an egg-shell the size of a half-dollar sitting on top of an omelet. It wasn't cooked-in or anything, just sitting there on top when it arrived from the kitchen.

Salad poses a particular problem, because it's often filled with a variety of things and textures. Several years ago at an Applebe's I found most of a ladybug in my salad. Not a whole ladybug mind you, but most of one. I had a nice healthy bite of lettuce perched on the end of my fork as I talked with my friends around the table. I tend to talk with my hands, and the fork looked like an orchestra conductor's baton, keeping the conversation's tempo. Finally, I moved the bite toward my mouth. There it was. I sent the salad back and had a burger instead.

Once, on a date, in fact I think it was a first-date, I bit into a piece of glass concealed in the fried rice at a Chinese restaurant. I'm pretty sure it was a bead from a necklace or something, but I bit it right in half between two molars. Getting it out required an oral lavage courtesy of the tall glass of water that came with dinner. I managed to extricate it without injury.

Friday night I had a cup of white chicken chili at a barbecue joint in Muskegon - Brutus' Barbecue. Part-way through it, I saw something odd. It was kind of grayish-greenish-bluish. It was lumpy. There were multiple incidents of it. I asked my server to see if she could figure it out. My friend Steve thought it looked like a few puddles of pneumonia-induced lung-butter. It turned out to be a few dollops of bleu cheese dressing. Well, that's what the restaurant said it was. I think I won't go back there again.

Et tu Brute?

maybe it's just me...

New-Blog-spot

I recently moved my blog from blogspot to my own site, but the RSS hasn't followed. If you have been reading my blog previously, please visit the new location: http://www.mirthmobile.com/brian-food/
And update your RSS Reader.

oh... and I think that the whole Thanksgiving feast is over-rated.

...maybe it's just me.

Chipo... ChipOtel... ChipotE...

A chipotle (also chilpoctle and chilpotle, from the Nahuatl chilpoctli meaning smoked chile) is a dried chile pepper, usually jalapeno, that has been smoked. It is usually found whole in adobo sauce. It's yummy! Spanish is easy to pronounce. For the most part, say all the letters in the order in which they appear: Chi-Pot-le (chi-POTE-lay).
Hint - say it with the gusto of a South American play-by-play soccer announcer and you'll sound like you really know what you're doing.

I went to Taco Bell the other day. The stucco building was festooned with deep red window-clings advertising the lastest in gastronomic bombs the PepsiCoo chain passes off as "Mexican Food" - the Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito. I've been to Mexico and eaten the local culture. It was nothing like a "Chalupa". I've also been to a slough of wonderful family-owned Mexican eateries here in the Grand Rapids Area: El Arriero, El Sol, and Maggies Kitchen stand out in my mind. I feel blessed, as a lover of the slightly spicy dishes served by the multi-generational or recent immigrants from Mexico who may have ridden the waves of migrant work so plentiful here in "America's Salad Bowl". Taco Bell makes something wholely-other-than Mexican food, and as long as I create the intellectual separation between Mexican Food and what they make, I'm happy.

I approache the menu, perched high above the heads of the cashiers, and read carefully, fully intending to make my selection from the 99-cent menu. Marketing got the better of me as the suggestive banners had already worked their magic. Flanking each side of the fluorescentt-back-lit menu were two panels each extolling the virtues of the Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito. To the left, the Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito $2.19 - chicken or steak. To the right, add an enormous Mt. Dew and some stale tortilla chips with a plastic tub of nacho-cheese (a combo-meal) for a bit more. It beckoned.


Sam is a retiree working the cash register at the Taco Bell on Apple Ave. in Muskegon near my office. I don't actually know his name, as whatever appears on his name tag is quickly replaced in my brain by "Sam". I don't know for sure that he's a retiree either, but that's the story I've made up for him and I'm sticking to it.

Sam wore a cookie-duster mustache that made him look like Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security John Bolton (right) and the same glasses he'd purchased in 1951 after the war. Those frames had gone out of style and now come back into style as Sam held a job that provided free food to polish off his golden years. Sam had worked 44 years as an accountant for Worldwide Fishladder and Sons, before he was rewarded with a pink-slip. Mild-mannered Sam was a skilled accountant, a little too-skilled if you know what I mean. The court had not been kind to him in light of the recent Enron and Arthur Anderson scandals, but he was just a pawn and was given fines and community service instead of prison time.

My turn at the counter came and I returned Sam's gravely "Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?" with a calm steady voice.
"May I please have a Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito - Steak."
I never got that far actually.
Partway through the words Chipotle Grilled..., Sam jumped in with an impatient, "You want a Chalupa?"
No thank you, said I, "I would like a Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito". This time my own tongue turned traitor during the "Chipotle" and I had to repeat it again.
"A Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito if you please."
Sam looked dubious.

Then a light, from some far-away training video clicked on as Sam saw me looking forlornly at the sign above his left shoulder.
"You want that?" He asked in his cantakerous manner.
He gestured with his thumb at the combo meal version of the Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito sign nearest.

Thunderstruck, and already amused, I shifted my gaze to the far end of the menu, where the non-combo meal version hung with it's unadulterated price.
"No, actually, I want that one," and I pointed with my left thumb to the other sign.

"Gotcha." Sam said, and rang up the order with a sly wink.

"Order number 158." Sam continued and handed me the receipt and my change.

When the time came, I collected my Chipotle Grilled Stuffed Burrito and returned to the office. The soda cooler held a bottle of cran-grape, and a bottle of water with my name on them.

I really did enjoy that burrito.

...maybe it's just me.

a few fries short of a happy meal

Ahhh the employee lunchroom. Over the past 20 years or so of my "adult" (working) life, I've sat in a few of them. The Calvin College Faculty/Staff cafeteria is one that stands out because it seemed to me you could pile all kinds of things on your plate or only a few celery sticks, and the cash register only fluctuated between $1 and $1.75. Another lunchroom at a nameless company played propaganda videos on a TV that did not have an "off" button. Being the extrovert that I am, I've always found the people more interesting than the cuisine.



Once upon a time I worked in a factory environment. If you've never worked in a factory, I recommend it. The people there are relatively happy, and have the same passion or lack thereof for their work that people in offices do. There are some people who stand out as rather clever, and others are not the sharpest knife in the drawer. It's the same everywhere. One day I told a joke in the lunchroom, and it went like this:

Two guys went to truck driving school, they graduated and got their first job together driving a big-rig. On their first trip out, they had to take a detour and along the way passed a sign that read:
Danger Low Bridge Ahead - 10' 11"
They continued driving until they came to another sign.
Danger Low Bridge Ahead - 10' 11"
They drove on until they came to the bridge itself, it had a sign too, it read:
Danger Low Bridge - 10' 11"
They got out of the truck and measured the height of the trailer at 11' 3".
"What do we do?" one said to the other.
The second young trucker looked around a bit and finally said, "Not a cop in sight, let's go for it!"

This is not the funniest joke in the world. The delivery, was pretty good, but not hilarious. A ripple of laughter passed through the people eating their sandwiches and fast food.

However, one of my coworkers looked puzzled.

After a few moments passed, he looked up at me and said, "There's no way that truck is getting under that bridge!"

That was much funnier than my joke.

maybe it's just me...

Big Fun!

Halloween has come and gone, but the candy leftovers remain.

About 8 kids came around for trick-or-treating, which were fewer than I expected. I talked with some friends who had 50, 100, 150 kids of various ages stopping in to collect their goodies. The big question I heard from people I know was, "what happened to 'Thank you'?"

I think every generation is confused by the one that follows it, and I'm of the age where I'm noticing that more and more. I'm glad to say that the parents, escorting their children where I live, were visibly training their tykes to be polite and say the appropriate things.

I'll tell you what grinds my gears though.
When did this ------------>
become how big "fun" is?

The package is clearly labeled "FunSize", but it's only about 1/2" square by 1" long. How much fun could that actually be?

Not only is "fun" fairly small, according to the candy manufacturers, but I clearly remember the "FunSize" being 3/4" wide by 1/2" high by 2" long only a couple of years ago. Is "fun" shrinking?

I'll tell you what "fun" would be; a four-foot long two-foot wide candy bar.

To be fair, we really don't need bigger candy here in the USA, and Michigan is one of the "largest" states.


You know who's got their packaging right? It's the Chicklets people. They at least are honest and call them "Tiny Size". That's much more accurate! Do I expect the Snickers people to start calling their candy "not much fun size"? No, I won't go that far, but I would like to see a better subjective tag like "pretty small size". I'd really prefer a more objective description like "1-inch size". If they can't be objective, then at least they could be comparative. Perhaps something like: "more fun than a punch in the nose size."

maybe it's just me...

All Coked Up

Coca-Cola
Coke
The pause that refreshes
... and a smile

I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.
I'd like to buy the world a Coke, and keep it company.

First of all, I can't believe that they actually used that song in a commercial for Coke when I was a kid. Second, I really like an icy-cold Coke. Coke has a hierarchy, a holy declension of brisk, sweet, caramel-colored cola goodness.

I am not talking about Pepsi, RC, or any store-brand cola-beverage, I'm talking about Coke. The imitations simply can't compare.

1) Coke in a glass bottle.
Something happened when Coke moved from glass to plastic. Sure, there were far fewer incidents of foaming shards in the grocery store parking lot, and the shelves in the soda aisle stopped making that sticky-gritty sound whenever you moved anything, but was that safety and convenience worth the price? There is no finer imbibment that a 16 oz or 1/2 L glass bottle of "The Real Thing". Now, it's only available in the crummy 10 oz variety or from Mexico.


2) McDonald's Coke
I can't explain this one, except to say that our favorite Scottish joint gets points for consistency and formula. They have perfected the fountain coke.

3) Coke from a plastic bottle, poured over ice, served in a glass.
This is as close to the #1 as possible, but it's not the same.

4) Coke from a 20 oz plastic bottle.
Recently I also had a 24 oz bottle that stood up nicely without going to the full 1 L, which, in my opinion, is a waste.

5) Coke in a can.
The aluminum seems to taint the flavor more than the plastic. There are those that disagree with me strongly, they can get their own blog and make their own list.

6) Any fountain Coke in any container.
From the Styrofoam at a gas station to the wax-covered super-big-gulp carton to the "bottomless softdrinks" at any eatery, Coke from a fountain (with the exception of #2 above) is disappointing. It's still better than #7.

7) Coke at a bar.
I don't know what they do to it, but it's wrong.
It's like kissing your sister, going up the down escalator, plundering the rainforest, pulling the wings off of flies, or Pepsi. It tastes like someone used the nozzle that mixes the syrup and carbonated water to siphon leaded gas from the neighbor's car in the '70s and hasn't bothered to clean it since.

...maybe it's just me.

Sandwich Construction

I hit the Wendy's "drive thru" today for lunch.
A Spicy Chicken Sandwich with pickles and cheese, no mayo. It's really pretty good. However, I feel that I need to instruct sandwich makers the world over on the proper placement of condiments, fruits and vegetables.

It is my considered opinion that the cheese should always go between the meat and the bread with nothing else in-between. Pickles and tomato - if available should top the meat directly and lettuce should not. All other condiments should go directly onto the top of the bun or bread and not directly on the meat.

So, the sandwich looks like this:
bread
mayo
ketchup
mustard
lettuce
tomato
pickles
burger or chicken thing
cheese
bread

Why? I thought you'd never ask.
The cheese, as it gets melty, keeps the meat firmly attached to the bottom bun (bread) which invariably slides off when not cemented with the fermented curd. The pickles add a touch of marinade to the meat and the acid from the tomato does that as well. The lettuce forms a barrier between those items and the condiments. This is critical. The sauces should be allowed to soak directly into the bun. You may have your own ideas about sandwich construction, which I am sure are well-reasoned. These are mine.

I think we can all agree that the tomato, although one of my favorite fruits, should never touch cheese. Don't believe me? Put a piece of cheese on a slice of tomato and see what happens to the cheese after a minute. It gets pretty slimy. I prefer to avoid that.

...maybe it's just me?

Leaving Bob Evans

No more Bob Evans in Muskegon for me.
Ever.
Never.
never-ever.
I had lunch there today (please make it stop) for only the second time since going to work (oh the pain) for gospelcom last September. Without getting graphic (really really graphic), that's it, I'm done (please stop). Not going there any more.

Also - they were handing out printed copies of the business card hoax email and trying to collect business cards. They didn't want to hear my opinion of that. I think that alone qualifies the Muskegon Bob Evans for a special "finger".

Family Update - thanks everyone for your prayers
My mom is back at her home in Gulfport again. Her house has just a few shingles missing. The power is on and the water works, but they can't use anything from the faucet without a ton of chlorine. She's working at the hospital in 24 hour shifts and has invited some people to stay with her. Not all members of Coast Cardiology staff are accounted for yet.

Dave is off to school farther north in Mississippi, so he's in the clear. Bruce is still picking up the pieces of his school system.

Mom's number-one comment is that the news photographs and video just don't do the carnage justice. I imagine that you miss the 3D effect.

maybe it's just me...

Katrina and the Beignets

Some of you who know me well, know that my mom (birth mother), Stepfather Bruce, and youngest brother David live in Gulfport, Mississippi, ground zero for hurricane Katrina.

On Monday, August 29 she and Dave bugged out and hit I-10 Eastbound for Auburn, Alabama to get out of the way. I talked to her a bit while she was on the highway moving at 3 miles an hour - the same speed as Katrina.

Tuesday morning she, Dave, and the cats were safely ensconsed in their motel, while Bruce held the roof down at his school in Richton, near Hattiesburg. Later that day I couldn't get her on her phone as the winds and rain subsided and the water from Lake Pontchartrain started to seep and then rush into New Orleans. The cell towers are not functioning and it made me worried.

Wednesday, I got a call from my brother Chris, in Pendleton, South Carolina, and then a text message from Mom letting me know that she'd been home, and found only minor damage to their house. There was no water or power or any point in staying around there so she continued on.

Thursday I heard from Chris again that she was North of Baton Rouge and headed to Chris' wife's parents' place in St. Francisville, Louisianna to wait.

That's about everything I know for now.

I can't help thinking, in the midst of the tragedy that I will miss some of the things that I've previously enjoyed when I visit next. I will of course be happy to see my family and know that they are OK. I'll miss the beignets (pronounced ben-yays) and chickory coffee at Cafe du Monde. I'm not making light of the suffering people have there in the Gulfport, Biloxi and New Orleans areas. I can't help feeling guilty that I'm sitting safe at home, drinking filtered water and Dr. Pepper, and eating restaraunt leftovers while the people there are struggling to stay alive.

Want to help? Check out International Aid.

maybe it's just me...


Not too long after this post, I got email from my mom. I've added it [edited a bit] here. Mom is a Nurse Practioner for Dr. Libbys of Coast Cardiology, a very busy cardiology group covering a large area in and around Gulfport and Biloxi. It's a division of Encore Enterprises.
Here's an interactive map of the area.

Our house survived with minimal cosmetic damage. Lots of damage to roofs & homes in our subdivision, but houses on our street were essentially spared. You may have seen the videos & photos of the Gulfport Grand Casino, dumped in the middle of US 90. To the east of the Oasis Hotel, across the street from that casino, is the Mississippi Power building, which is still standing, but severely damaged. Imediately east of the MP building was the Legg Mason building, where all of the tech, billing and other support for Coast Cardiology and Encore Enterprises was located. It is gone.

The Gulfport office of Coast Cardiology sustained heavy damage. Our Bay St Louis office is gone. Dr Libys' house in Long Beach is gone. Dr. Baker's house in Ocean Springs is gone. I haven't heard from the rest of the Docs, am still trying to reach the rest of our office staff.

I am currently at Jean & Mike Clark's home (Chris' in-laws) in St. Francisville, Louisianna, about 30 miles north of Baton Rouge. They have power, water, and gas. There is some rationing of the later, with shortages. Stores are running low on fresh produce. But we are safe, and were able to fill the tank of one car, and fill a couple of 5-gallon gas cans.
Water was restored to our home (in Gulfport) neighborhood yesterday, but we are under a boil water notice there. Power may be quite a bit longer due to downed lines & trees. The street light in front of our house is broken in half & hanging precariously.

Richton (where Bruce works) is in terrible shape with downed power lines & blocked streets. It may be several weeks before Bruce can reopen the schools. The High School lost it's roof. But we are safe & comfortable, thanks to the generosity of the Clarks.

Love to all

Robin Weigle

The 40 Year Old Popcorn

Saturday, my friends Morgan, Jeff and Sarah joined me at the movies for "The 40 Year Old Virgin." This is not a movie for everyone and it's rated "R" for a reason. But it is DANG-FUNNY.
Lately movie theaters have taken to popping their popcorn in advance, filling bags and putting them in a cabinet until later. Now, I don't know if they just forgot to rotate their stock or they intentionally gave me popcorn that was from 1965, but that stuff was nasty. It was fine for the first 1/3 of the bag and then... ICK!

Cinemark at Rivertown - you get the finger.

Seriously, I'm not going to leave the movie and get a "free refill". Fortunately my Mr. Pibb was enough to wash the taste away.

Oh - and if you are going to see Steve Carrell in his masterpiece. Go rent "Hair" first, so you will really appreciate the ending credits.

maybe it's just me...

betty's batter better

My contribution so-far is a cake. I make this really good cake with a boxed cake mix and some pudding. It's really good. It came out of the oven a few minutes ago and yes, I licked the beaters. I licked the spatula and the bowl. I think if they made cake batter in a tube this good, I would eat it directly from the tube.

Have you ever noticed that everyone calls that rubber-headed scraper thing a "spatula"? Truthfully, it's a rubber-scraper. A "spatula" is in fact the flipper-ooni thing you use to turn over hamburgers or eggs. I however, will continue to use the word "spatula" incorrectly until the rest of the world ceases the following:

Prevent-A-tive
It's really preventive.

Orient-A-ted
It's really oriented.

Meijer's
It's just Meijer.

and the rare, but still completely annoying:
K-mart's

I am willing to kill for less.


maybe it's just me?

The Pause that refreshes

Ok - so it's kinda hot outside here in West Michigan.
On Sunday I offered lunch on the grill to a number of people at CentrePointe Church. You know, brats and burgers, corn on the cob and whatever else we could get together. Based on the nodding and smiling, I thought it was going to be a pretty big crowd. So I dashed home and thawed out a couple more packages of bratwurst, including the cheesy brats (which I highly recommend)! So I had about 8 burgers and 20 brats. That's quite a lot of food. 5 people showed up. I have brats and burgers left over. Lots of them. They are still pretty good with the grill flavor and all.

I should also mention that I was defrosting a turkey. Did I mention that it's hot outside? Yes, I believe I did. The Turkey was from Christmas. I planned to cook that on Sunday. I let it thaw some more while I ate leftover and cooked the turkey on Monday. It takes a while to cook, so it went in as soon as it could after work. At about 9:30 PM it was ready. It had one of those little pop-up timers and I double-checked it with a meat thermometer.

I've been eating bratwurst for lunch and turkey for dinner since then. This I have decided is a good thing. I get grilled food at lunch time and then before bed I get a good dose of Tryptophan to help me sleep. I've been sleeping really well since Monday.

Now - for the title of this entry.
This evening, after a plate of turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and a touch of gravy, I decided to tweak the sprinklers a bit. I have those underground sprinklers and turned a few heads off around a couple of areas. I opened a couple of them up to water some flowers and tomatoes.

You close and open these guys with a little screw right on the top of the sprinkler head, as you start to loosen the screw, the head begins to sprinkle. As I adjusted this particular head, I was unwittingly unscrewing the whole top of the sprinkler. it popped off and shot up at me in the face. I quickly stood up and got 20 gallons of water per-minute at 60psi right up the shorts. Man! That was refreshing.

maybe it's just me...

Denver iPod

I'm in Denver for the International Christian Retailers Show (CBA).
I'm also eating way too much. The Cheescake Factory has called me twice already, and there's an awesome diner up the street from my hotel.

Is it OK to have a Denver Omlette in Denver?
I had hash-browns and eggs.

Maybe it's just me?

Bank On It

My Credit Union (bank) does a monthly newsletter. It usually is awful. This month it rocked.

1) They provided the phone number and web site for the Opt-out of credit card offers mailed to your home.
https://www.optoutprescreen.com/
1-888-567-8688
Do this and do it now!
You have to provide your SSN, but that's because the three credit reporting agencies sell their lists and you are known by your SSN which provides your credit report. The opt-out process flags your information so they can't sell it.

2) They provided the phone number and web address to get your free credit reports.
https://www.annualcreditreport.com/
This is the real address - don't make any typos or use the stuff you find in pop-up ads. Those are scams and are a quick way to go down the road to identity theft.
1-877-322-8228
You should do this at least a couple of times a year and keep your report up-to-date.

3) They provided a whole FBI fraud alert article.
http://www.lmcu.org/lmcu_newsletters/293.pdf
It really gives you the heads-up on common scams to avoid and what to watch out for when trying to deposit a check that might come from a scam.

GO CREDIT UNION!
Way to go!

Also...
Last night I ate a sampler platter of evil at Damon's.
This sucker had skins, cheese sticks, onion strings, wings, and ribs.
Glorious... simply glorious.

maybe it's just me?

PS - it's my birthday today

Pancake-o-ramma

Every 4th of July, for several years, I've gone to the Graafschaap (just south of Holland, MI) volunteer fire dept. pancake breakfast fundraiser. It's pancakes, sausage, butter, syrup, nasty orange juice, and milk (2% or chocolate).
Pancakes are great, make no mistake, but seriously - people line up out the door for this thing.
I'm starting to recognize people I don't know based on their outfit. Yes, I'm implying that some people wear the same red-white-and-blue paraphernalia every year. There's one woman who really looks like Jane Fonda. (Not the "workout" Jane, but the recent "monster in-law" Jane. Please everyone out there, makeup should look natural. If I can see your makeup, then you are doing it wrong.) Anyway - she wears a flag. OK, it's a shirt that looks like it was made out of a flag. It's not good.
But the pancakes are pretty good, and it's all you can eat. What a better way to celebrate the bloody way our country declared it's independence from socialized medicine, high taxes, tea and crumpets, than to spend the rest of the day in a carbohydrate induced coma.

maybe it's just me?

My Hero - Zero

As someone who absolutely detests most diet soda (pop) I am pleased to announce an actually palatable carbonated diet cola.

Coke Zero

It's so much like the older version of Coke (before Coke-Classic, and the "New Coke" of the mid-1980's, I had to do a double-take.

My local Meijer grocery store handed out dixie-cup size samples of the newest "pause that refreshes" and I was stunned. Diet you say? HA! I had to go read the ingredients:

Coke Zero:
Carbonated water, caramel color, phosphoric acid, Aspartame, potassium benzoate...

Diet Coke:
Carbonated water, caramel color, Aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate...

Is the jockeying of one ingredient the difference? Who knows, but I can tell you that the one think I really miss about the original coke is that it was not as sweet at the newer versions. This diet-treat seems to capture that cripsness.

So - once again Coke - +1
Way to go!

maybe it's just me...

Freaks, Geeks, and Taco Bell

Now and then we watch videos at work during lunch. We're in the Freaks and Geeks series right now. Also, some of us went to Taco Bell today.

I got about $3 worth of stuff off of the value menu. It's pretty good - considering. I think that the bell should be more honest and simply list their entres by the order of their ingredients, bottom to top:

1) tortilla, beans, meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato
2) tortilla, meat, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato
3) tortilla, beans, cheese, meat, tomato, lettuce
and so-on

Seriously, I'm expecting a new commercial and mascott to do something like this:

Hey, hey, hey!
There's something totally new from Taco Bell!
Now we've put the lettuce and tomato under the beans and meat, but on top of the cheese to create a completely new taste sensation! It's seriously so much better than the tomato under the cheese thing we tried last month or last year's disasterous beans, beans, beans, lettuce and cheese! Don't miss it! Get down to your local Taco Bell today and get your cheese, tomato, lettuce, beans and meat, all on a tortilla! And don't forget a side order of tortillas and cheese!

It's no "On the Road" by Kerouac mind you, but it would be so much more honest.

maybe it's just me.

ahhh the power of cheese

I returned home from a bachelor party, parked the car, cleaned up some wood chips around the walk and picked up the mail. After a brief constitutional I adjourned to the kitchen where I began to sort and shred today's junk mail and important communications. The Calvin College Spark stared bleakly up at me from the kitchen counter. The happy ginning faces of the student atheletes were jaded by my own tired eyes and an impending sense of doom...

DOOOM!!!

.... articles about the athletes...
.... articles about PETRA (better known as Pres. Byker's ....)
.... page 5
oh the humanity!
Say it ain't so!


I love cheese...
Hat's off to you guys!

I'm going to get me a slab o'cheddar.


on the other-hand,
maybe it's just me?

to the winners go the pizza

After winning a softball game the team decided to go to Pietro's Back-door Pizzaria (yes, we make all the required off-color jokes about the name). They do this "pizza party" deal for large groups.
Unlimited:
-Salad (simple itallian salad)
-Breadsticks (very hearty)
-Pizza (keep 'em coming)
-Soda-pop (Pepsi products... beware)

All that for $6.95/person.
When it's a party of 20-something, it works pretty well.

Now here's where I fell.
After all of that, I stopped at McDonalds on the way home for a small Vanilla Shake for $2... WHAT WAS I THINKING? Like I needed that?
And the price? I could have bought a 1/2 gallon of ice-cream for that. Is that stupid or what?

maybe it's just me...

Breakfast Cereal

Man!
Sometimes I'm completely overwhelmed by the craving for a good (bad) sugar-cereal.

Boo-berry (a cousin to Count Chocula)
Quisp (haven't seen this one in years)
Frosted Flakes
Cocoa Crispies
Cap'n Crunch - Crunch Berries
and the High Exaulted Poo-bah of them all...
Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch

Saturday morning cartoons, a big bowl, a gallon of milk and a coke-slurpee if you can get one. Add to that some Wonder Bread and I'm set for the day.

maybe it's just me...